In the 1960s, University of California psychologist Diana Baumrind classified parenting styles into three styles: authoritarianism, tolerance, and authoritarianism.
According to the American Psychological Association, authoritarian parents “are those who nurture, respond, and support their children, but set strict limits for them, and when they listen to them, “Even then they focus on enforcing rules that change their views and opinions.”
Amidst the pressures of modern life, which faces a constant flow of information and entertainment options for their children through the Internet, parents' time is increasingly occupied with children's sports, music education, and sports activities. In 2010, Canadian journalist and author Carl Honoré published the book “Under Pressure: Saving Our Children from the Culture of Overparenting”. In 2009, he dedicated a fourth parenting style, “Free Parenting”, to help parents “raise and educate children in a fast-paced world.” ,
This style is based on abandoning the authoritarian parenting style, allowing children to realize themselves and make their own decisions, teaching them through practical experiences, and not being satisfied with the theoretical knowledge provided by textbooks. It is a book that was praised by the American magazine “Time” and considered “the epitome of the free-spirited parenting trend.”
What is free education?
Also in 2009, the American newspaper “The New York Times” published an interview with the book's author Carl Honoré, in which he said, “The rise of globalization has put most parents under enormous pressure to give their children the best.” has put.” In everything, and make them perfect in everything.”
From hiring private tutors, to spending lots of money, working long, hard hours, and spending years worrying and planning about raising your kids to work hard, “with the belief that This will help them survive in a world that is becoming more competitive.”
Hence the importance of “free education”, which does not mean doing everything at a slow pace, but rather means “achieving balance in the home, paying attention to quality over form, and giving children lots of unconditional love and attention” ” And accepting of taking a step back, to give them the opportunity “to find out who they are, not who we want them to be.”
According to Honoré, imposing control on children in relation to family arrangements “does not negate their need for plenty of time and space to explore the world on their own terms and to stop long enough to rest, think, and let go.” Is.”
Slowing down helps develop patience
On the other hand, American writer Christian Daschle, in an article recently published on the “Fatherly” website, described free education as saying that “Parents are beginning to abandon the idea that children are given all the ready, easy, and good opportunities.” should go” and instead encourage them to “have meaningful experiences, and give them the time and energy to deal with it” and to stop asking too much of children.
Psychotherapist Nadia Teymorian confirms this, saying, “The principles of free education help parents increase meaningful interactions with their children.”
When parents adopt a slower parenting style and stop constantly pressuring their children, “children learn to form more ideas, explore their own interests, and enjoy simple, unstructured activities,” because slowing down helps develop patience, “allows children to see” the world around them, and enriches personalities.
4 ways to get free education
Here are 4 ways to help you embrace independent parenting and give the whole family enough space to breathe and slow down:
- 1- Do not exaggerate in developing the program
The disadvantages of excessive plans and schedules are not only limited to depriving children of opportunities to enjoy leisure, but it also reduces the precious time that allows parents and children to establish a close relationship.
“When we resist the urge to involve our children in too many activities and events, we force ourselves and our children to prioritize connecting with each other,” says Dr. Family. “To help children recover from the daily stresses of life,” says Temurian, “by spending more time with them.
“You don't need to strictly control your children's activity, but rationalizing schedules and appointments can help everyone avoid burnout,” says Stanford University professor Dennis Pope.
- 2- Allocate time for free play
As Dr. says, it is valuable to allocate free time for children to play in voluntary, enjoyable ways. “Free play and imaginative activity without strict rules enhances children's creativity, problem-solving and social skills and develops their self-confidence,” Teymourian said. Because it allows them to, for example, explore their interests, make decisions and navigate in games such as preparing imaginary meals, planning a vehicle or building a fort.
Also, they should be reassured that “their toys will not go to waste, and will still be there to enjoy at the end of the day, or even in the next school holidays.”
- 3- Be patient during periods of boredom
Despite the importance of unorganized play, it can sometimes seem boring to children, and in this case a slow and open parenting strategy depends on patience and tolerance for complaining, and no haste in returning to organized activity programs. She doesn't, and instead invents an exciting game outside. Even if he is climbing a tree.
Research indicates that “the benefits of these activities are for children's development, developing their executive abilities and increasing risk management skills, confidence and independence.” Simply put, “No child has ever died from boredom; children who are bored will eventually learn to stretch their creative muscles and come up with alternatives,” says Christian Daschle.
- 4- Conscious and balanced use of technology
The free-spirited parenting style views the constant purchasing of the latest and best toys for children as a “potential trap” that can lead to strain in the relationship between parents and children due to the constant pressure to conform to influencer advertisements. can cause. Television. Children's constant desire for more screen time also represents a difficult problem for this educational style.
That's why Dr. Says: Teymourian says “awareness and balance” are important, and recommends that children be empowered to use technology positively, with their well-being in mind, and avoid screens altogether. Don't quit, “and instead focus on learning and creativity, not just constant entertainment.”